Great Pink Plastic Stuff Hunter
Anna and I have survived our first no deposit! Lay-by now for Christmas! Post financial year! Big toy sale! All the major retailers have them in July sometime and K-Mart's started yesterday. I was there with stars in my eyes and gladness in my heart: this – this decadent frenzy of moveable, clickable, wheel-able, bounce-able, pop-out-able things, with attachments – is one of the reasons why I had a child.
It was mad. There was crap and kids and chaos everywhere, no-one followed any social rules or recognisable order, no-one minded, the heating was on way too high, and everyone was functioning perfectly well in spite of it all. There were even blackboards set up to advertise coffee and snacks within sight of the poor souls wasting away in the lay-by queue. It was like the excitement of a fairground except slowed way, way, way, waaaaaaayy down. And roller coaster trolleys don't have wonky wheels.
I don't know what I bought. As soon as I stepped foot in the melee, I realised that whatever I thoughtI might like Anna might like I should throw in the trolley then and there, as my chances of getting back to wherever I had last seen things was going to be roughly nil. So I was flinging things in and flinging them straight back out again when I came across a better thing; I think the contents of my trolley changed completely at least three times. It appeared everyone else was doing the exact same, so the shelves were a glorious shamble of stuff. In fact, it looked just like it might if a few kids had the run of the place for their personal toy room. The staff were going quietly bonkers trying to keep some sort of semblance of order – today was only the first day, so good luck guys! Reminded me somewhat of Sisyphus pushing his boulder up the hill in Hades for all eternity – but I thought it was great fun.
Anna had a bit of a dummy spit in the middle of the 4 km long lay-by queue, which only added to the atmosphere of the day.
Being the total shopping legend that I am, I did find the one thing I was planning to get: one of those plastic clam-shell jobbies that you can fill up with water or sand (or both, I guess, if you are feeling particularly mad or in a mood to clean something) because it has not escaped my attention that Anna's favourite thing to do these days is stuff her face full of the dirt that collects in the cracks of the pavers at the back of our house. So I thought, a ha, the child needs a sand pit; if she's going to eat dirt at least I can ensure that it is clean dirt that I can keep some control of. Because I am nothing if not a considerate mother.
I also distinctly remember keeping hold of a really funky plastic penguin that you blow up until it is roughly toddler size and it has a weight in the bottom so that when you push it over, it will bounce right back and hit you in the nose. It is supposed to help teach almost-toddlers how to walk. I can't see how that would happen, being as it is something that moves every time they try to use it for support and then springs back again to whack them when they let go. Maybe they are so eager to get away from it, their 'run away' reflex kick-starts their leg co-ordination. Whatever: the important thing is, I can't wait to play with it.
On so many levels, I counted the day as a success. So much so that these purchases (whatever they are) have already been deemed as 'birthday', next week I'm off to Big W for 'Christmas', and then if I allow myself to get completely carried away I might even do Target after that. Then I need to stop and take a breath, as I don't want to suffer from Christmas burn-out in July. And all these things will need paying for at some stage. And I remember babbling on, pre-birth, like the idiot I am, about how Anna would not be getting loads of presents at Christmas time from me or anyone else because that was just rampant capitalism and totally unnecessary and in deference to all the homeless and needy children of the world, one present from me and one from Santa would be just fine and she could damn well be thankful for that. Now I will need to channel all my energy into thinking up a functional yet graceful about-face on the matter, and exhausting myself on way-too-early shopping trips is not conducive to back flippery.
It was mad. There was crap and kids and chaos everywhere, no-one followed any social rules or recognisable order, no-one minded, the heating was on way too high, and everyone was functioning perfectly well in spite of it all. There were even blackboards set up to advertise coffee and snacks within sight of the poor souls wasting away in the lay-by queue. It was like the excitement of a fairground except slowed way, way, way, waaaaaaayy down. And roller coaster trolleys don't have wonky wheels.
I don't know what I bought. As soon as I stepped foot in the melee, I realised that whatever I thought
Anna had a bit of a dummy spit in the middle of the 4 km long lay-by queue, which only added to the atmosphere of the day.
Being the total shopping legend that I am, I did find the one thing I was planning to get: one of those plastic clam-shell jobbies that you can fill up with water or sand (or both, I guess, if you are feeling particularly mad or in a mood to clean something) because it has not escaped my attention that Anna's favourite thing to do these days is stuff her face full of the dirt that collects in the cracks of the pavers at the back of our house. So I thought, a ha, the child needs a sand pit; if she's going to eat dirt at least I can ensure that it is clean dirt that I can keep some control of. Because I am nothing if not a considerate mother.
I also distinctly remember keeping hold of a really funky plastic penguin that you blow up until it is roughly toddler size and it has a weight in the bottom so that when you push it over, it will bounce right back and hit you in the nose. It is supposed to help teach almost-toddlers how to walk. I can't see how that would happen, being as it is something that moves every time they try to use it for support and then springs back again to whack them when they let go. Maybe they are so eager to get away from it, their 'run away' reflex kick-starts their leg co-ordination. Whatever: the important thing is, I can't wait to play with it.
On so many levels, I counted the day as a success. So much so that these purchases (whatever they are) have already been deemed as 'birthday', next week I'm off to Big W for 'Christmas', and then if I allow myself to get completely carried away I might even do Target after that. Then I need to stop and take a breath, as I don't want to suffer from Christmas burn-out in July. And all these things will need paying for at some stage. And I remember babbling on, pre-birth, like the idiot I am, about how Anna would not be getting loads of presents at Christmas time from me or anyone else because that was just rampant capitalism and totally unnecessary and in deference to all the homeless and needy children of the world, one present from me and one from Santa would be just fine and she could damn well be thankful for that. Now I will need to channel all my energy into thinking up a functional yet graceful about-face on the matter, and exhausting myself on way-too-early shopping trips is not conducive to back flippery.
posted by Helen at 11:52 am
1 Comments:
Heh heh. I've ALWAYS wanted Magic Sand, and have never been brought any :( You use it to make underwater castles with. The other thing I really like is Green Slime, but Boo-Boo is a little too young for slime just now....
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